The hopelessness and failure seep into my soul.
At this time I should be happiest, all I see is tarnished gold.
I know it is my demons, rising up from out their graves,
Surging with renewed strength, hoping I will cave.
The depression of my past, the self-hatred lying there,
I struggle with it desperately, trying to get air.
I know I’m not a failure,
I know hope still exists,
I just have to find it,
As the knife of darkness twists.
I am not on the verge,
I’m not playing with fire.
By the time I noticed,
I had already fallen.
My heart ripped from my body,
Fraying at the scars,
I bleed into my open hands,
And he holds out his arms.
There’s nothing so painful,
But I didn’t stop it from happening,
Because as bad as it hurts now,
It felt so good falling.
And I would fall again,
Just as I’ll leave it outside my chest,
Because as much as it hurts,
I can’t help but hope for the best.
The spark of something true.
The craving for something you once knew.
Then you meet her.
The one that chooses you.
A best friend,
That pulls out new sides of you.
Then you see that spark again.
And rush to the chase.
Only to have rejection,
Quickly thrown in your face.
And when you return,
She no longer chooses second.
And you are left alone,
With only her last words to quote,
That when you chase two rabbits,
You will lose them both.